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sparkling dazzling nocturnal ali blaire while i was away Previous Previous
Fading Firefly
Falling Star
djdazzle
Okay. Seriously. These little buggers needs to be born already. Alicia Keys is beautiful. I.. want ketchup. What the hell.

There's only so many soap operas you can watch before you feel like you know every storyline imaginable.

Okay. So. After these kids are born. I want a job. I want to work. I want to do something in music. Seriously. I'm antsy.

Current Mood: sore sore
Current Music: you don't know my name - alicia keys

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djdazzle
It's weird being back. I feel way too old to be here. Sure, it was only six months, but it felt like years. I think back over everything that happened on Mojo, and then I read journal entries from before ... and I feel like I'm reading something from a complete stranger.

It's been six months and five days since I updated this journal last.

Meanwhile, I want Taco Bell.

I had more to write, but I suddenly forgot what I was gonna write.

Current Mood: drained drained

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djdazzle
[Private]
((before this.))

We're leaving soon. I know that.

Part of me is really scared. Another is excited.

I.. people might die while we're there. No, they will die, it's just a matter of whether or not I know them. War is death, and the more I think about it, the more I'm scared shitless. Steve -- Longshot -- has been thinking, plotting, what not. And I'm scared. And he keeps telling me it'll be okay, and not to do anything reckless, and I trust him, it's just.. it's war. War. Fighting. Death. Everywhere.

On a reallly far away planet, that .. wow. It's no where near here.

I don't want to die. kthxbye.

Well, I'm gonna go watch tv with Pietro now, he's afraid we won't have cartoons on Mojo, which, well, is a reasonable fear. So we're gonna watch as much as we can before we leave.

If I don't get to say goodbye later, I'll say it now.

[/Private]

Well, looks like we're off to save the, er, a world. Yes.

-----

-dazzler on mojo-

Current Mood: anxious anxious

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djdazzle
Steve said something to me today.

And it made me think. Real thinking. Not just.. fake thinking.

I had always felt remorse for my past, wished it had never happened, always feeling scared it could happen again.

But it won't. I wouldn't let it.

But.. the thing is, the thing I never fully realized, I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for those events. Strangely, I like how I turned out. I find myself cooking a lot more, mothering some of the students, conspiring with others.. I actually feel my age, and older. It's weird.

Steve said he liked me how I am. And ya know what? I haven't heard any complaints against my person. Well.. ya know.. except for a few things.. but I had supports. I broke hearts to save lives from Sebastian, and I know I will always regret that, but in this world? You do what you have to do to survive, and to ensure others around you survive against the greater evil, in that case, Sebastian.

But.. I wonder how I would have turned out if those things hadn't happened. I wouldn't have met Emma. She wouldn't have invited me here, I wouldn't have met all my new friends..

Alex, my first friend besides Emma here.. I miss him dearly and I want to see him again so bad. I wish I hadn't said the things I did. But.. it's the way the cookie crumbles.

Pietro, my platonic wonderful gay boyfriend roommate and shopping buddy, my new Roger.

Theresa, my personal battery/training partner and co-conspirator, she's got a knock-out voice (har har), and yeah, okay, I can handle her squeeing to me about Steve.

Rave, my role model. She put up with so much of my shit.

Kitty, the Cher to my Dee, who squeed with me over Rave and Forge.

Piotr-doll, my dear Russian, who I always feel like pampering, he's like a brother to me. And though he can't remember me, I promise not to kill this new one due to the last one's mistake of locking me in a closet.

Steve, who.. shit, I can't begin describing what he is to me now, it's.. too much with so little time. I can't even begin to find the words.

And Emma, who I trust with my life more than anyone. And she's gone. And I miss her. But I can never thank her enough for inviting me to Xavier's.

There's more than them, but.. I can't think straight. Sorry, I have to clean myself up now. Get ready for the dance. Ya know, the one where I'm the dj, and have Steve as a date. Yeah. That one.

*takes a deep breath* Here we go. It feels like a new era begins tonight. Theresa and I sure as hell planned a great party.

Current Mood: hopeful hopeful
Current Music: "new rock revolution" - the reunion show

dazzle me
djdazzle
The dance is this Saturday. Wee!

Theresa, we need to get together and put in the final touches and what not.

It's been dead around here lately. And ya know what I think? I like it. It's all nice and calm. Of course, part of me is nagging that this is the calm before the storm. But shh, that part of me, shh.

The other night we played a game strip poker. Heh. Haven't played it in awhile. Last time I think was with a bunch of my girls and Roger after a long night of work. I mean, yes. Hehe. It was interesting. If.. that's the word.

Also? For the record? I so beat Steve upstairs. Ha!

Dude, Emma, where are you? I wanted to talk dresses with you.

Current Mood: random
Current Music: "be with you" - enrique iglesias

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djdazzle
Piot's back. We ran into him. He.. doesn't remember. Stuff. So please be gentle around him. He's readjusting. I'll kick your ass if you mess with him.

And Hank, I don't care what you think, I think you're beautiful no matter what.

We all went shopping last night, and by all, I mean Theresa, Kitty, Pietro and myself. Stuff for next week's dance. It's Saturday, you guys. Game? I am. I've been working on some remixes and stuff for it.

I feel like making a huge dinner type feast. Any requests? Of course there will be mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese.

Current Mood: productive productive
Current Music: "bring back the good times" - the red hot valentines

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djdazzle
NYC was awesome, as always. I miss it. It's always alive. I definitely missed dancing, the music, the lights. I saw one of my old friends, he's a dj up at this one club off of Times Square. I talked to him about the business, the life, he seems to really enjoy it. It's something I kinda always wanted to get back into that scene. It was something I tinkered with before Hellfire, before I ran away. So, yeah.

I have also been one with the remixing and coming up with some of my own synthesized stuff in my room. Well, when Pietro's not there. Yep.

Ooo. Look. Lunch.

Current Mood: nostalgic nostalgic
Current Music: "bandages" - hot hot heat

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djdazzle
Alison Blaire hadn't set foot into NYC since Roger told her never to come back. Well, she wasn't going to visit Roger, or Hellfire, or anything remotely connected to her old career. No, instead she was spending the day and night with an old friend in an old city. She thrived in New York City. Ali could feel her heart race as the train pulled into the station, her eyes searching the crowd for Emma Frost.

Emma greeted her kindly, a kiss on both cheeks -- very Euro -- and they linked arms and were on their way. They stopped by the apartment briefly, only long enough for Ali to drop off her stuff, and then they whisked away to mindless, expensive shopping. Saks, Sam Flax, Bloomingdale's, Ali even convinced Emma to go into the huge Toys 'R' Us on Times Square -- and to ride the indoor ferris wheel while they were there.

Laughing, gossiping, giggling, these two blonde bombshells lit up the streets of NYC during the day. It was hardly noticeable the three years Emma gained. Ali told her about Pietro, how they have grown close, are roommates, dyed their hair together -- Emma laughed at hearing his hair is now red -- and drag new students on late night runs to Wal-mart. Ali giggled when she told Emma about Steve, who Ali's been growing close to rather quickly, and they just met. They avoided certain topics, like Hellfire, Sebastian, Piotr.. it was a trip of relaxation and reclaiming their sense of fun and adventure, not of brooding over things.

They ate lunch in Chinatown, ate dinner in Little Italy, and soon found themselves back at Emma's penthouse, getting ready for a night out on the town, the old hot spots Ali used to light up every night after a shift at Hellfire. Driving along the roads, sitting next to Emma in the back seat, looking out as the neon passed them by, they passed the Hellfire Club, a large crowd out front. Ali felt part of her heart tug, seeing that old scene, thinking of Roger, thinking of the first show she performed, the men and women she ran into, it all hit her in a wave of nostalgia. She knew she could never go back, on a promise to Roger and by all other logic.

But if she were honest, she missed it.

oocCollapse )
dazzle me
djdazzle
*sparkle*
Pietro and I dyed each others hair tonight. Well, I bleached mine, back to blonde for Ali. And Pie got a red rinse, so he's currently a red head. Heee. Awesome. We're tres hot.

Also, just to let you guys know, I'm catching the 10 o'clock train to NYC this morning. A friend invited my up to NYC for the evening, shopping, clubbing, what not. I really miss the city, and want to go mucho badly. But no worries, I'll be back Sunday afternoon. I know how the ones that are actually still at the Institute, which aren't many, feel about people leaving. Just.. going off for one evening. Yes. See you guys Sunday if I don't see you before hand!

Mmm. Breakfast. I'm makin waffles.

Current Mood: bouncy bouncy
Current Music: "secret garden" - bruce sprinsteen

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djdazzle
This boyfriend business is fun. Especially when you mack on the bed across from a sleeping roommate.
Theresa, Pietro, and yeah, Kitty - I need to giggle&gossip talk to you!
Speaking of talking to people, I really am starting to miss Raven you guys. Where the hell are they?
Did her and Teej go on a side trip to fuck shit up?

Current Mood: flirty flirty
Current Music: "october nights" - yellowcard

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djdazzle
Piotr-doll. He's now gone too. What the hell is going on here?
I didn't even get to make him potatoes like I said I would. We were supposed to hang out and talk and me not kill him. Everyone's leaving. Bitches.
Maybe if Rave -- hey. Wait.
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] http://www.livejournal.com/~_mystique">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/~colossus_">Piotr-doll</a>. He's now gone too. What the hell is going on here?
I didn't even get to make him potatoes like I said I would. We were supposed to hang out and talk and me not kill him. Everyone's leaving. Bitches.
Maybe if Rave -- hey. Wait. <a href="<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/~_mystique">Rave</a> and <a href="<a href="http://www.livejournal.com/~talia_nocturnal">Teej</a> have been gone for a long long time... they didn't run out too, did they? Bah! No. They wouldn't. But I miss them. They need to get home soon.

Current Mood: worried worried
Current Music: "i want to hear you sad" - the early november

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djdazzle
Well. I have my date for the Sadie Hawkins dance.

Current Mood: dorky dorky
Current Music: "chariots rise" - lizzie west

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djdazzle
Lance, I need to speak with you.
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djdazzle
Well, there's a new guy around. Let's call him Steve Brenton, shall we? Yes.
He kinda just popped in from another dimension, when I was training with Theresa last night.

And, well. He's a nice guy. A little.. clueless about things around here, but that's how interdimensional bizwhack usually works.

Current Mood: curious curious
Current Music: "two weeks in hawaii" - hellogoodbye

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djdazzle
I don't remember falling asleep last night. But granted, this morning I woke up in my bed.
I haven't seen Pietro around yet. He's gonna be my new roommate. *nod* He's gay, so it's okay.
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djdazzle
Well. Alex isn't coming back.
I won't miss him. I'll make myself not miss him.
Another one bites the dust.

On a much happier note: I visted Piotr today.
I didn't kill him.
But Hank kicked me out of the medlabs nonetheless.

Current Mood: bitchy bitchy
Current Music: "get me away from here, i'm dying" - belle & sebastian

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djdazzle
I don't know what to do anymore around here. Things change so much so quickly.
People come and go. Things change like a snap. And my mood swings are getting worse, I think.
Sometimes people shouldn't listen to me. Really. It's detrimental to their health. Shoo! Go away! I'm making no sense.

Current Mood: confused confused
Current Music: "two weeks in hawaii" - hellogoodbye

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djdazzle
word is there's a piotr back at the institute.
*polishes off gun*
piotr, i need to see you.
asap.
there is no hiding.
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djdazzle
I'm slowly becoming less bitter. But sadder.

Everyone needs to stay put. I think I've been singing that song too long. Therefore, it should be a big hit, and everyone should be sick of it, and make me stop by staying here. K? Come home and stay put. Sheesh, you guys. It's not that hard.

Things kinda exploded the other night. Yeah. *nod* Too much to say about it, so I'd rather not say anything.

Other than that, Pietro is a wonderful wonderful story teller.

O, and M stopped by. It was nice to see her.

And Logan cleaned up a pickle spill, or something.

Okay, I'm going.

*alsjda;lsj*

i miss alex

Current Mood: apathetic apathetic

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djdazzle
Ali comes home before the sunrises, leaving Logan to sleep in the back of his truck, and she hangs his keys off his ear just so. She smiles and holds a fingers to her lips, telling Pietro and Rahne to shhh as the leave the truck quietly. They had just gotten home from a trip to walmart. Ali and Pietro had gotten Rahne a lava lamp and a Discover magazine... and a Cosmo, but Ali let that slip into the bag for Rahne to find on her own.

She goes with them upstairs, bidding them goodnight, and goes to her empty room. She feels her nostrils flare as she leans against the door frame, glancing around the hallway before entering. She's been like this for a bit. Marie was gone. And Alex had gone after her. After he told her people should just stay put. Yeah, she was hurt. She couldn't place her finger on it exactly, but she bets it has something to do with him telling her something, then doing another. Yeah, yeah, that's it. She's been hanging out with Pietro a lot lately. She's quite fond of him, her new gay boyfriend.

She drops her keys and wallet off by the end of the bed and hops in her chair, spinning to face her desk. She turns on her labtop and opens a blank email.

She hasn't talked to Roger in a long time. She misses him. And she never got to say a proper goodbye.

Subject: Hey loserCollapse )

She presses send. Her cheeks are stained with tears. She hated goodbyes. And she loved Roger. And she knew he'd want this. She opens up her address book and deletes his email address.

The sun is rising. She's off to bed.

Subject: Re: Hey LoserCollapse )
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djdazzle
.....

Current Mood: confused confused

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djdazzle
They're not going to die.

I'm going to kill them.

Piotr. and Alex.

and then, if I have time in my busy busy schedule, Sebastian as well.

HumbertPietro will help me. Yes.

Current Mood: pissed off pissed off

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djdazzle
Ali leans forward on the counter, resting her weight on it as she leans closer to the mirror. She pulls her bottom lip out so she can see the inside of it, where she bit hard when Sebastian had shoved her late last night after she returned home from bowling with Humbert aka Pietro. It is swollen and no longer bleeding, but it's sore to the touch.

She had told only one other person outside the ex-Hellfire Association about Sebastian. And he didn't remember, which was for the best. It was before Alex had gone back to Nebraska.

"He's one man," Alex had told her.

"Yeah. Well. I have been thinking about it. But..." she sighed, "I dunno anymore."

"I mean, in the school, he's one guy. He doesn't have people to back him up."

Ali laughed, "He's one of the most powerful -- socially -- mutants in NYC. He has back up."

"Not here."


Alex had a point. Here, it was only Sebastian. But Ali didn't want back up. She didn't need it. It wasn't their business. They weren't the ones with the busted lips, or the bruises, or the terrible memories of Hellfire.

But it would be the last time Sebastian threatened Alison Blaire. She had never been angry at him. More scared, confused, hurt. But never boiling mad. But the longer she stared at her lip and thought about everything the man has done, not only to her, but to Regan and Emma and the countless girls at Hellfire... she could feel herself about to boil over.

Current Mood: angry angry

dazzle me
djdazzle
I've gone into hiding, apparently.

I'm not dead.

I like my classes.

I'll be around later. With presents for everyone.

*goes off to work*

Current Mood: busy busy

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djdazzle
I <3 Monty.

Other than that, these past few days have been fun. I saw Emma, which was nice. And I went shopping for water guns with Kit and Petey. So now we have a set of water guns for an army. Weee! And hung out with Lance for a bit somewhere in these past few days.

I also caught up with an old business partner while he was bonding with Ther.

I also <3 Rave.

Current Mood: awake awake
Current Music: "art of nothing" - reunion show

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djdazzle
Went out shopping with Dub and Lance tonight. Despite the fact that I felt like I was chaperoning at some points, with the required "shut up Lance"s, but hey, overall, I had fun. Dub's an awesome girl. Lance isn't half bad, either.

And I still have your jacket, boy.

Current Mood: confused confused
Current Music: "decatur psalms" - outkast

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djdazzle
I'm going camping with Alex. Yay!

I'm leaving in a few minutes. We're gonna roast marshmallows. And sleep in a tent. And I'm gonna wear bug spray, because Petey reminded me.

I went to the store today. I bought potatoes and a block of cheddar and went to work making a feel-better cheesy bowl of mashed potato goodness for Piotr-doll. He's having a difficult time. Love sent through potatoes. And cheese. I felt good and bakey today.

Public Service Announcement: Am one of Rave's sidekicks. Woo. I get a costume. And I hear Kit is my co-sidekick. Awesome!

AND YAY! TJ, Ther, Doug, Petey, and Monty are back! Somewhere... haven't seen all of them yet, but they're back. And that's all that matters.

Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: "abandon! abandon!" - the jealous sound

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djdazzle
After helping lil' miss roomie get ready, I had a bowl of mac n cheese with her date. I haven't seen Alex in like forever and a half, and it was great. We're going camping soon. I also then had awesome conversation with Rave, who's my personal superhero.

Tired. Bed. No? yes.

Everyone needs to come back. Seriously, yo. When everyone's here, I'm envoking Ali's House Arrest.

Current Mood: mostly happy :D
Current Music: "ex-girlfriend" - no doubt

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djdazzle
Rogue's letting me do her makeup and what not for her date. I haven't done this kinda thing in awhile.

Roger would be happy.

Last night, I wandered down into the common room and met up with Kitty, Rave, and Forge. We started watching Clueless, but then Rave and Forge magically disappeared for awhile to the kitchen.

I think I'm falling into a routine here. I never had a routine before. Well, besides work. But ya know. I like it. It's nice.

But I still want to see Emma. I have to thank her.

Current Music: "homewrecker" - hellogoodbye

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djdazzle
Late night. Early morning. Whichever.

Very eventful, though.

Laynia, a new girl, and I met some people down at the pool. Well, I should say we met a few girls and Lance. And let's just say that due to his loose boxers and need to be naked, we all got to know Lance a little better. Yeaaah.

And I did feel kinda bad chanting "hit him" to Rave when she tried to get him unnaked. And then she did hit him. And he freaked. And I would have if I were in his place.

Then they came back. Emma, Nate, and Piotr, with Mr. Forge. I haven't seen Emma yet, but I hear she's in a coma with Nate? Haven't met Nate yet. But I did meet Piotr. And he's quite lovely. I like him. I hope he's doing okay.

And then we got a phone call today. I don't quite know what to say about it. But I think it's under Rave's care now.

A lot happened today. Happy stuff, important stuff, and between. I'm tired. Maybe I'll take a nap?

Yeah. I miss Ther, Dougy, Petey, Teej, and above all else, I miss Roger.

Nap. Now. Zzzz. I should stop staying up so late playing with edits.

Current Mood: exhausted exhausted

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djdazzle
I should stop dreaming about having illicit vulgar dreams with pirates. Well, maybe. It makes me miss having someone to make out with.

It was strange. He taught me a lesson. *grin* In insulting people. *bouncebouncesparkle*

*goes to get ready for the day*

Current Mood: awake awake

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djdazzle
I just counted how many people are actually gone.

It's not a fun number.

I would have gone with them, I think. If I hadn't promised Roger otherwise. With Teej, I mean. I understand her reasons. But then I understand Raven's. *shrug*

I miss everyone.

*turns up music in headphones to drown out thoughts*
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djdazzle
I've been chillin around all day. Don't really feel like socializin. I mean, I would, but I have my music. My keyboard, my mixer, my turntable. I'm happy in my headphones.

Does anyone want me to make them a mix cd? Just suggest a mood and a type of genre or sound or something, and I'll see what I can come up. I'd like to keep myself busy.

Current Mood: artistic artistic
Current Music: some beyonce song i'm remixing

dazzle me
djdazzle
I'm back.

Ther and Doug were kidnapped.

I don't know if anything I have to say can out-weight this.

I didn't get to say goodbye to them.

I should have never left.
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djdazzle
Subject: Hey, because I'm an originalCollapse )
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djdazzle
Ali holds the sleeve Roger had tore off the bouncer's shirt to her elbow tightly to stop the bleeding. Roger sits next to her in the back of the cab, barking an address to the hospital to the driver. Ali's right wrist hurts too much to move, and it's her right elbow that has been scraped to hell and back. Roger mumbles something about her being lucky it wasn't worse, but he wasn't the one with the bruise along her right hip and thigh. Yes, she was lucky he had shown up -- she could have been broken a lot worse. He was able to scramble the brainwaves of the bouncers that were set on attacking her -- she could never actually say what Roger's mutation was, but again with the mind thing.

At the hospital, the doctor tells them her wrist isn't broken -- a fear Roger and Ali both had. No, it's sprained. An ace bandage is wrapped around it tightly, she's given antibiotics for her infected elbow, and she's told to put ice on her bruise. She's not really listening to any of this, but Roger is. It's how it's always been. She would never pay attention and he would have to save her. It was comfortable.

He's just hoping she can handle herself when he lets her go.

He drops her off at his apartment, then goes to work. The bouncers won't remember what happened.
dazzle me
djdazzle
He hangs the phone up fast and jumps to his feet, knowing the phone didn't make the charger. He could hear the vomiting in his room -- shit, why in the hell did he put her on his bed? He bursts in and squeaks, seeing her on his *cringe* brand new satin sheets, in lavender.. and... he could have nearly fainted. He rushes over to her, as she lay hanging over the edge of the bed, a puddle of vomit on the hard wood floors. He thanks god just then he didn't put down the carpet he had intended on originally.

"Come on, vanilla pop, up and at em," he hoisted her up, balancing her on his side as he led her to his bathroom. She could barely keep her head up... a mixture of being half-asleep and more drunk then she's used to.

He places her gently propped against the immaculate toilet, searching for a hair tie to hold back her hair. He pets her as her eyes flutter and he grows sad. He stands up, not even glancing out into his bedroom -- he's so not ready to clean up that blasphemy. He laughed under his breath, his eyes sliding back over to her, "Come on, Ali girl, you're a champ. The one girl I'd even think of takin to bed, and you layin here like..." His voice trails off. He leans against the wall and slides down next to her, seeing that look in her face, the one that just shouted that he better take a hold of her. And he does. He wraps his arms around her and holds him to his chest, silently praying that she doesn't puke on his shirt.

He can feel her starting to shake, and thinks back over their friendship. The last time she had cried like this in his arms was after Sebastian took advantage of her the first time. That's how Roger and she became friends. From that moment backstage right before their first time as the main act, her collapsing his arms, he looked after her, had her back. He had seen her as this darling little thing, and she should have never stepped foot into that club, and as the months went on, grew to hate Sebastian and his men for turning her into the insecure victim she actually was. She tried to be tough, Roger saw this. But he could see the glow in her eyes darken when men attending Hellfire approached her.

He laughs against her hair. "Baby firefly, if it were any other girl, I'd be tearin you to shreds. You ruined my sheets."

He hears sniffle and didn't mistake the sound of crying when it came out of her slowly. He hates seeing her like this, her sobs growing. He takes a deep breath and holds her tighter. "We need to get you out of this life, Alison," he whispers into her hair. "You left, but you came back, and we gots to change that. Things are different -- worse."

He holds her for a long time, till her tears fade and she falls asleep in his arms. Then he cringes as he looks over at the bed.

oocCollapse )
dazzle me
djdazzle
Ali steps off the city bus down the block from the infamous Hellfire Club. She should have never returned, she should have never gone there in the first place. Her anxiety grows the closer she got, she rubs her hands together and tries to stop the shaking. She had finally left, and now she is back.

What kind of stupid bitch was she?

It is still daylight -- she hardly saw the outside of the club during daylight. She gulps as she notices it was empty -- the dancers and other employees have yet to show up to get dress. It is kinda early.

"Sugarplum got the balls to come wanderin back here? Ah hell naw," she heard behind her, steps coming from an alley she had passed. She turned, knowing who it was. Her face was scared, but relieved.

"Roger!" She squeaks, her hands covering her mouth in surprise. He taps his foot and snaps his head about.

"Girl, drop that duffel and give your fave drag a snog!" the tall beautiful dark skinned transvestite flails his arm for her to come over, insisting the ex-lounge singer and partner whisk him away. Still overwhelmed by being back in the city this close to Hellfire, she laughs nervously and lets the duffel bag slide off her shoulder and runs to Roger. He picks her up and spins her around, showering her cheeks with kisses, all while balancing his slim black and mild in perfect smoking form.

She stumbles back, dizzy from his greeting, smiling. He waves his smoking hand wildly, fanning the rich smelling smoke out of the air between them.

"So, lil miss lightbulb, where the hell have you been?" He asks, attitude dripping as only a diva could do.

She sighs happily, the one man-woman who could make her happy by insulting her but actually complimenting her standing before her. Lord, she missed Roger. "I've... gone to a better place."

"Bitch, no, makin it sound like yous died," he tilts his head to the side and lowers his voice, "So ya finally did it, Firefly?"

She nods, a smile slowly growing on her face. "I mean, I'm not home clear, but... really close, ya know?" She shrugs.

It's his turn to nod and he shakes head head, laughing to himself. "So then why the fuck did you come back, girl?"

She gulps again, "Unfinished business, really Rog."

He knows all to well. He's been at the club longer than Ali. He was her confidant. He takes a puff of the smooth cigarette and exhales dramatically. "O, honey, Hellfire is one bin full of unfinished work. Come," he begins, holding out an arm to her so he could guide her away, "come into my parlor. We'll talk somewhere else, not so public, yes?"

"I'm assuming you're talking about you're swank gay bachelor pad?"

"My, my, woman. You do know me too well," he winks at her with his heavy eyelashes as she latches onto his elbow, his voice softening, "It ain't the same without you, Firefly."

Current Mood: nostalgic nostalgic

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djdazzle
I'm leaving.

I.. just don't know when I'll be back, but I will be.

Thanks for letting me stay with you guys.

TJ - you are simply rad.
Clarice - keep drawing.
Pietro - buy some pants.
Kitty - decisions, woman.
Theresa - kiss many gay men.
Monty - be healthy.
Mariko - kiss many gay girls.
Lya - perfect mac n cheese.
Alex - be the way you are.
Emma - be happy... your friends too.

To everyone else, I hope to get to know you better. Hopefully. *smile*

Goodbye.

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6 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
Just when things are starting to calm down around here. I haven't seen Sebastian in a few days. I would like to think I haven't thought about Devon too. But if we're being honest, I think about him a lot more than I would like. I've been hanging out with Theresa, Kitty, Clarice, Pietro, Lya, and Monty a few times.

I taught Lya how to make mac n cheese. She'll be wonderful at it one day, I know. She's a sweet girl. I prefer her to that other Illyana. Which I won't get into. Because I'd like to remember Lya instead of Yana.

I like Theresa more when she's sober.

I miss TJ. She's so... I want to say reassuring, even though I get confused around her. She's a badass like I could never be. I guess a year or so on the streets and at Hellfire doesn't do the same effects as cross-jumping around dimensions.

Seeing Clarice draw makes me really happy. She seems so into it. I forgot what it's like to have something like that, that I can bury myself into for hours.

Pietro is really nice. I loved going shopping with him. But I do think he needs to buy some pants for all the shirts he bought. And I would love to go to the playground again. I liked that we had a jumping contest from the swings. He, of course, beat my ass.

Mariko keeps an eye on me. I like it. Makes me feel like she's got my back, and she's awesome. So that makes me happy.

Monty? I worry about him a lot, especially with what I've heard of his sister and that he's been sick, and I hope he gets better soon. He's fun. And nice to me. And I don't think he and his sister(s) are anything. For the record. And his birthday is soon, like now or something. I'll be gone. So Happy Birthday Monty.

And I miss Alex. He always seems to cheer me up. Makes me think I'm better than I am and makes me think I can do things I can't. I hope he's having a fun time visiting his folks in Nebraska. Hopefully better than my visit to Boston.

Last night, while I was trying to fall asleep, I started thinking maybe I shouldn't have told him about Sebastian. I'm starting to get paranoid again. What if Sebastian knows and he tries to hurt him... Alex, that is.. or any of my new friends for that matter? What if he does? That... well. I've been careless. Alex made me think I could take him with the help of the X-men. But this is above them. It's Hellfire. The man's got back-up from here to NYC and around the country. And they don't fight fair.

He's here for Emma. Sebastian, I mean. She's gone at the moment, and I don't know when she's getting back, but I want her to stay far away until he leaves, or... something. He won't go without a fight, I know. I got a letter from her earlier this week... she's scared. And pregnant. And that makes me so happy. And the guys she's with seem really good to her, and I want her to stay happy and stay away.

She called yesterday afternoon. She knows Sebastian's here. Yeah, well. He is. She thinks I should stay away from it. But honest to truth? I've faced him more than she has, and ya know, maybe she could have a better shot at him, but he's ruthless. He knows I fight back as much as I can... I took the hits for the women I made run-away. Yes. It was my thing. I pissed him off, but he never fired me or took a hit out on me. I often wondered why, but then I remember he's a sick man. So I continued to seduce his women and to break their hearts. It killed me. Killed. In everyone of them, I could see the hope leave their eyes as I told them they weren't cut for Hellfire. But most of them left. And Sebastian grew to hate me more, I'm sure.

That's why I'm leaving.

Well, for a few days anyway.

I'm heading back to NYC. I need to see some old higher-ups. Maybe even Roger, the best drag keyboardist on the face of the planet. I miss him too. But I don't want to be the Ali everyone knew in New York. I want to be the one kids my age know at the Institute. I can't put NYC behind me until Seb's gone. And to do that, I may have to play dirty. I don't know if I'll find out anything. I doubt people will tell me what they know. But I have to try. To keep my friends safe. And to finally be safe myself.

I'll be leaving tonight after midnight. I'm going to miss all of you. I don't know when I'll be back.

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Current Mood: worried worried

2 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
My word, shopping is dangerous. Especially when you haven't gone in awhile, and have a credit card. *grin*

from kb toys
+ for alex (i left it on his bed for when he gets back from nebraska i hope he likes it and gets the joke..)
+ for emma (i'll get it to her when she gets back *smile*)

from old navy
+ malibu shirt
+ striped tank
+ halter dress
+ for monty (best counselor EVER)
[private]for emma's baby[/private]

from hot topic
+ white polka dot tulle dress
+ black cherry tulle dress
+ black glitter stars platform thongs

I forgot how much I love shopping. Shit. And I love Pietro for going with me! Brillant idea! Brillant. *hugs new stuff*

*beam*

And then afterward, Pietro and I went to the playground on the way home. *smile* He's so fun. New friend!

And alternative Illyana I think is gone. Hmpf. But yay, she didn't go to anyone about Seb. Gooood.

Current Mood: silly silly
Current Music: "like i love you" - justin timberlake

10 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
I'm so glad to be back. I mean, back to my old self. Happy. Sparkly. Yay!

And I owe it to Alex. Even though it was me talking. It made me feel so much better. And I'm going to miss him when he goes home.

I thought about a lot of things that happened recently. And I don't know... I feel... strangely calm about them. Like, the thing with my dad. The thing with Devon who I'm not so much mad at anymore, but I miss him... I think. And the confrontation with Sebastian. And yes, to get this all out in the open, before rumors start going around, or what not, I dunno, I had sex with Devon. Bastard. You could say he's the reason why I took a vow of celibacy.

I also received a letter today. From Emma. I have yet to see her since I came to the Institute. I severely miss her, now that I think about it. She's going through a lot. Different stuff, but a lot.

And Alex made me think about getting the X-men involved. To get Sebastian away from here. He is just one man. *smug*

Other Illyana is odd. I don't have a thing for Alex, thankyouverymuch.

There was a semi-girls-night too! I've never really been to one, so this was nice. Gossip, movie, popcorn, my favorite gay counselor, Monty, and a threesome waiting to happen. But Hugh Jackmeoffman is really nice. And I like hanging out with Monty. Even though he seems to dream a lot.

I'm tired. I'm happy. And off to bed. *smile*

Current Mood: happy happy

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djdazzle
Wow. Um.

So.

I'm not so much mad anymore. Sorry if I offended anyone yesterday. Have the strong impression I did. Now? I'm back to your regularly scheduled mopey Ali. Well, yeah.

Monty, I may have to come find you again. It's the advice business. Ya know?

Doug, sorry I fell asleep on you. I really didn't mean too. I guess I was exhausted.

Alex, I so need to talk to you. Beyond anything.

I think things just got a lot worse, and not just for me. *tremble*

Oooo mail. I got another letter. Let's hope this one isn't tell me someone fucked up.

Current Mood: scared scared
Current Music: "eternal flame" - bangles

4 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
Well, tonight is the night, I guess. Off with my head of hair.

{Edit: Well, it's as even as I can get it. *goes to find someone*}

Current Mood: needs to forget

dazzle me
djdazzle
I'm going to the store. Does anyone need anything while I'm out? And leave me money.

Current Mood: irate irate

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djdazzle
That's it. I've decided after MUCH MUCH sleep the following...

I am now celibate until I die.

No more sex for Ali. None. Nadda. I'm through with that shit.

Current Mood: pissed off pissed off

8 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
I'm not so down anymore you guys! well, I am, but at least I have happy stuff to make me feel better!!

Alex and I are going camping soon. *grin* S'mores and everything, he told me. I'm holding him to it.

And I'm going dancing tonight with Devon. I haven't been in a long time.

I should go take a shower and get ready. *bouncebouncebounce*

Current Mood: bouncy bouncy
Current Music: "rock your body" - justin timberlake

6 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
Shit, I must have slept like 15 plus hours yesterday when I got in. No, wait, make that more like 20 plus. I just laid there for 6 or so hours, pretending to be asleep. When Mariko or Teej would come check, I'd close my eyes.

So, like no one's awake. So I'm reading people's journals. And what the hell? I've missed out on a lot.

Don't worry Mariko. I'm just physically and mentally exhausted. And Alex? Just come by and wake me up when ya want. Same with you Devon. Everyone else, I'll try to be around sooner or later. I just... need some time to think.

And since there's no one around, and Mariko and Teej and Alex are asleep. I think I will join their status and go to sleep. Yes, some more.

Current Mood: lonely lonely
Current Music: silence

4 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
I'm back. It's late.

I'm feeling shitty okay.

Ran into Doug and Pietro in the parlor. It was awkward. But I returned Doug's book.

This is where I sleep forever.

private to Alex: sorry I didn't call. It was late. I couldn't stay there a moment longer... forgive?

Current Mood: guilty guilty

6 watts * dazzle me
djdazzle
Ali rubbed her arms as she stood awkwardly in the corner of the lobby. The memorial service for Carter Blaire was over, and the crowd began filing out. Carter, due to the amount of cancer in his body, was cremated.

She watched from under her hair as people walked by her, glancing at her from the corner of their eyes. She obediently sat next to her mother and paternal grandmother during the service, but as soon as it was over, she had bolted.

"Alley-cat!" she heard a familiar elder voice call for her, and she saw her grandmother wave a wrinkled hand her way as she weaved through crowds. "Honey cheeks, what are you doing?"

Ali shifted her weight onto her other foot. "Nothing, Grams."

Bella Blaire stood in front of her granddaughter now. "I'm not seeing that. It looks like you're looking for an out."

Ali shrugged.

Bella's demeanor softened from the vibrant vivacious woman the family had come to know into the grandmother that was stereotyped. She took Ali's elbow and led her to a room off the lobby. "Now Ali, I know this is difficult, more so since you haven't been around lately. But Alley-cat, you have to understand your father did bring this upon himself."

"But Grams, me and Ma--"

"Shush, child. I'm talking. I know it's hard. Yes, my son took up habits I would have put a stop to if I had known, but honey, that's the Blaire tradition. We have a tendency of alienating each other, only seeing each other at weddings and funerals. And yes, I am slightly angry with your mother for what she did. But that's not reason to blame yourself for him dying."

Ali disagreed silently.

Bella continued after a sigh. "I know that look in your eye, Alison. You're looking to leave again, and I can't blame you, sweetie. Just... don't stay a stranger. I love you more than anything and would hate to see you cut yourself off from the family because of your parents." She dug through her purse and then presented Ali with a wad of cash which Ali refused.

"Grams, I..." Ali started but didn't know what to say. She sighed and dropped her arms to her side. "I'm staying at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters in New York."

Bella smiled sweetly. "Is that a hint that you want me to make sure you don't stay a stranger?"

Ali nodded.

The elder woman took a hold of Ali's purse and stuffed the cash in there. She then held her hands out to her granddaughter. "Now give me a big strong hug, I won't break."

Ali was taken off-guard at this. She hadn't seen her grandmother in years. She shuffled awkwardly into the hug and was shocked at the strength the small old woman had in her arms. Bella squeezed hard, not sure when she'd see her Alley-cat again.

Bella pulled her back and patted Ali's cheek. "You've turned into a beautiful young woman, my Alley-cat. I only wish I could have been there more when you were growing up." A tinge of sadness swept into the woman's voice. "But anyway, I'm going to get cheese. I guess you won't be back for awhile. Be safe, Ali."

She wandered off in search for cheese trays.

Ali glanced down at the money visible in her purse and glanced around the room. She made brief eye-contact with her mother, but she quickly turned and headed out of the church. Ali tucked her hair behind her ear. She began to walk down the sidewalk, toward a cab she saw waiting at the corner. She didn't look back. She wanted to leave Boston tonight.

Current Mood: relieved relieved

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